letting go

Letting go is hard...really, really hard.  A few weeks ago, I made one of the most difficult decisions I've ever had to make.  I decided it was time to find a new home for my wonderful Prince Charming horse, Bob.  No, it wasn't easy.  I thought, prayed, and cried for several days.  Several long days.  I felt like my heart was breaking.  But in the end, I knew what I needed to do.  The Lord brought Bob to me, and I've been blessed with him for ten wonderful years.  I want Bob to be used, and I want some little 4-H kid to experience the joy I had riding him for so many years.  It's time for me to pass on the blessing to someone else.  So, I called my 4-H leader, Marian.

And here's where it gets good.  Not only did she want to buy Bob from me, but I can come over whenever I want (even if she's not home) and ride my boy.  She has an arena...with jumps.  *eyes glaze over*  How awesome is that?!

We decided a trial period would be wise before she actually buys him.  He's an amazing horse (yes, I am biased, but it's completely true), but he's never been used as a lesson horse.  So, he's at Marian's place being ridden by some of her current 4-H kids...and he's loving it!

This Wednesday, I played with him for a while, then went inside and we signed the bill of sale.  He's not legally my horse anymore, but at the same time Bob will always be my horse.

my senior photo from 2007

I am so peaceful about this, knowing Bob is being used and that he's enjoying it.  Although I had a moment on the way home where I wanted to turn back, give Marian back her money, tear up the bill of sale, and say, "No, he's mine.  You can't have him!"  But...I didn't.
And that "ride him whenever you want to" thing?  I plan on taking full advantage of that.  I'm reminded over and over again what an exceptional horse Bob is.  He's such a spunky boy, but so gentle.  There's not a mean bone in his body.  And feeling all of that controlled power under me?  It's incredible.

I stop by on my way home from church every Sunday to say "hi" to Bob.  As silly and sentimental as it sounds, I don't want him to forget me.  If he ever didn't perk his ears up and look around at me when I call his name or whistle, I think my heart really would break.  I love Bob so much.  But I'm happy with the decision I've made.

And I thank the Lord for finding a good home for my precious, special boy.  He truly cares about every little detail in my life, and He provides.  His timing is amazing.

My bro will also be finding a new home for his horse, Dewey (once his leg is all healed), but we're going to keep my mom's pony, Freckles.  He's somewhere in his thirties, and has completely earned the right to enjoy his last years taking it easy in the pasture.  And I'll still have a horse to take trail riding on the trails behind our house.  So, it's all good.  It really is.

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Letting go is an area I've been growing in a lot the past few months.  Sometimes, even if it's something that's good for me, I get such a strangle hold on something (whether it be a person, a thing, or an idea), that I actually hinder the Lord from working in my life.  He's been gently teaching me that many times for His will to be accomplished, I need to let go and step back.  Let Him.