An Immensely Entertaining Literary Tag

I found this super fun literary tag on Of Trims and Frills and Furbelows and I just had to do it.  I do so love tags. :)

Whoever came up with this tag has an amazing sense of humor.

.....

The rules...write down twelve characters from literature, making sure to not look at the questions until you've listed them. Then answer the questions.

Unless you don't plan on doing this tag.
Then, you can just scroll down and read my incredibly witty answers!
*grin*

1.  Josephine March (Little Women)
2. Anne Shirley (Anne of Green Gables)
3. Elizabeth Bennet (Pride & Prejudice)
4. Sir Percy Blakeney (The Scarlet Pimpernel)
5. Arthur Clennam (Little Dorrit)
6. Mr. Knightley (Emma)
7. Mr. Thornton (North and South)
8. Sir Wilfrid of Ivanhoe (Ivanhoe)
9. Edmund Pevensie (The Chronicles of Narnia)
10. Elnora Comstock (Girl of the Limberlost)
11. Captain Peter Blood (Captain Blood)
12. Nancy Drew (duh)

1. Who would make a better college prof, 6 or 11?
(Mr. Knightley, Peter Blood)  Oh my.  Whom shall I choose?  I rather think that Peter Blood would make a better college prof, as he is a doctor, but I can totally see Mr. Knightley as one, too.

2. 12 sends 8 out on a mission. What is it? Does it succeed?
(Nancy Drew, Ivanhoe) Sir Wilfrid is sent by Nancy to commander Santa's sleigh for a joy ride.  Does it succeed?  I haven't the faintest idea. 

3. What is or would be 9's favorite book?
(Edmund) I rather fancy that Edmund would enjoy mystery or adventure books.

4. Would it make more sense for 2 to swear fealty to 6, or the other way around?
(Anne Shirley, Mr. Knightley) I believe it would make much more sense for Anne to swear fealty to Mr. Knightley.  I just can't see Mr. Knightley doing that for Anne.  It's far to romantic for him.


5. For some reason, 5 is looking for a roommate. Should (s)he share a studio apartment with 9 or 10?
(Arthur Clennam, Edmund, Elnora) Uh, Arthur would definitely have Edmund as a roommate.


6. 2, 7, and 12 have dinner together. Where do they go, and what do they discuss?
(Anne, Knightley, Nancy Drew) They all go to the Olive Garden where Nancy proceeds to discuss her latest case, while Anne begins to recite poetry.  Mr. Knightley listens politely while eating his spaghetti and meatballs solemnly.

7. 3 challenges 10 to a duel. What happens?
(Elizabeth Bennet, Elnora) Elizabeth mortally wounds Elnora before realizing that they have no reason to be dueling in the first place.  She is then carted off to jail to spend the rest of her life behind bars. The end.

8. If 1 stole 8's most precious possession, how would she/he get it back?
(Jo, Ivanhoe) These two should have had the previous question. ;)  Ivanhoe would politely request that Josephine return his precious possession (his bronzed baby shoes).  Jo attacks him with a poker.  Ivanhoe, loath to fight with a lady, manfully takes the beating while devising means by which he might reclaim his shoes.  He retreats, only to return with Rowena, who grapples with Jo while Ivanhoe makes off with his shoes.  I think he grabbed Rowena on the way out, too, but that part of the story isn't very clear...

9. Suggest a title for a story in which 7 and 12 both attain what they most desire.
(Mr. Thornton, Nancy Drew) The Mystery at the Mill.  How original.

10. What kind of plot device would you use if you wanted 4 and 1 to work together?
(Sir Percy, Jo) Sir Percy takes it upon himself to teach Jo the fine art of fencing and disguise, then they go rescue some aristocrats...or something.

11. If 7 visited you for the weekend, how would you get along?
(Mr. Thornton) We would get along simply splendidly, I have no doubt.  Go for long walks and rides through the countryside and discuss books we've read.  In fact, we'd get along so well, that before he left I'd say, "Oh, John!  Forget Margaret.  Forget the mill.  And especially forget your charming mother.  I'm the one you've been waiting for all your life!"  And he'd say, "You're absolutely right, darling!  Let's get married."  We'd elope and go to Scotland for our honeymoon and live happily ever after.  The end.  Well, I can dream, can't I? ;)

12. If you could command 3 to perform any one task or service for you, what would it be?
(Elizabeth Bennet) I should command her to teach me all of the wonderful dances she knows!

13. If 2 had to choose sides between 4 and 5, which would it be?
(Anne, Sir Percy, Arthur)  A romantic little thing like Anne would absolutely side with Sir Percy.

14. What might 10 shout while charging into battle?
(Elnora) "I changed my mind! AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" (my bro gets the credit for that one;)

15. If you chose a song to represent 8, which song would you choose?
(Ivanhoe) I haven't the foggiest of ideas.

16. 1, 6, and 12 are having dim sum at a Chinese restaurant. There is only one scallion pancake left, and they all reach for it at the same time. Who gets to eat it?

(Jo, Knightley, Nancy Drew) Mr. Knightley would defer to the ladies, Nancy would defer to Jo, and Jo would eat the pancake.

17. What would 5 most likely be arrested for?
(Arthur)  Uh, debt? ;)

18. What is 6's secret?
(Knightley) For years and years, Mr. Knightley has secretly desired to be a cowboy.

19. If 11 and 9 were racing to a destination, who would get there first?
(Peter Blood, Edmund)  Probably Captain Blood.

20. If you had to walk home through a bad neighborhood late at night, would you feel safer in the company of 7 or 8?
(Mr. Thornton, Ivanhoe) Either one would do nicely, I'm sure. =)

21. 1 and 9 reluctantly team up to save the world from the threat posed by 4's sinister secret organization. 11 volunteers to help them,
but it is later discovered that s/he is actually a spy for 4. Meanwhile, 4 has kidnapped 12 in an attempt to force their surrender. Following the wise
advice of 5, they seek out 3, who gives them what they need to complete their quest. What title would you give this fic?
Josephine & Edmund reluctantly team up to save the world from the threat posed by Sir Percy's sinister (what?) secret organization.   Captain Peter Blood volunteers to help them, but is later discovered that he is actually a spy for Sir Percy.  Meanwhile, Sir Percy has kidnapped Nancy Drew (I hope he stamped her frequent kidnapping card...) in an attempt to force their surrender.  Following the wise advice of Arthur Clennam, they seek out Elizabeth Bennet, who gives them what they need to complete their quest (a magic parasol that gives you three wishes).  
Hahahahahaha!!
Title...title... "How We Saved the World: or In Which Jo & Ed Save the World In Spite of the Combined Awesomeness of Sir Percy and Peter Blood - Volume I".  
My bro suggested "Saving the World in Three Easy Steps". ;)

Well, I certainly enjoyed that!

Happy Trails, y'all!